Just a Note…

 

cartoon-doctor-tells-patient-according-to-hipaa-form-he-can-not-share-anything

If you are a regular follower here you might have noticed that I dropped off the radar last Wednesday, and so I thought that the polite thing to do today would be for me to offer a brief explanation for my sudden disappearance. Would you prefer a story… or the truth…?

As for me, I’d much prefer a story, since a story would be quite a bit more fun, but I suppose you’ll insist upon the truth.

Fine, be that way; here’s the truth:

It all began last Monday when my daughter showed up with my seven month old grandson. As daughters do, she handed him to me while she was unpacking all of the baby paraphernalia she had brought in with her. After unpacking everything we sat down and she began to tell me how he had begun to engage in an amusing practice which she called “projectile vomiting” the night before… As I listened to this story, and I looked at that sweet little face in my arms, thoughts of malice and payback toward my dear daughter began floating through my mind…

It wasn’t long before my daughter began to exhibit the very same symptoms, but I myself, made of much sterner stuff you understand, didn’t succumb… until mid day Wednesday; my wife joined the party on Thursday.

My wife of course is the responsible member of the household, and she went to the doctor on Friday for this outrageous malady, even though I had advised against it. After all, my daughter had taken the baby on Tuesday and been told that it was “that virus that’s going around”. My wife on the other hand, wasn’t buying it, and insisted that I go with her, but being irresponsible, I declined.

We know we have the same thing; why pay twice for useless information that we already know about?

I suppose we have a slight philosophical difference between us; she believes that I’m irresponsible for not being “seen” by the doctor when I’m so ill, while I believe that it’s irresponsible to go to the doctor and pay a rate of $2,571.00 per hour to receive such a scientific diagnosis of what’s going on that consists of “Oh yes, you have that nasty intestinal virus that everyone’s getting. There’s nothing you can do but let it run its course… and don’t get dehydrated” (and get it the hell out of my office!).

Side note: She doesn’t see where I get my hourly rate, after all, an office visit is only $150.00 for what typically amounts to a 3 ½ minute session…

You might wonder why I’m getting into dollars and cents in this tale of woe, and I’ll tell you: It’s much more polite than talking about the symptoms!

How are we doing now, you ask?

Well, as of this morning I’m actually feeling more or less normal again. The baby has been fine for a couple of days now, along with his mother, and my wife?

She caught a nasty cold at the doctor’s office!

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29 thoughts on “Just a Note…”

  1. My family has gone through it, except for myself. My belief is that God felt I have enough maladies to deal with (since November) and he’s going to let me skip this one. An act of kindness I greatly appreciate. Best to you and your family…and I think you’re being conservative on the dollar estimate. 😀

    1. Haha, maybe so. I really can’t complain because I hadn’t had so much as a cold sine my 50 th birthday, and that was 9 years ago. Now in 2 months I’ve had the flu and now tis, so I guess it’s just my turn 🙂

  2. What a time! Glad you’re better now! Had to chuckle at the part where you thought of revenge on your daughter. I thought I was the only one who had those thoughts each time her two year old acts like she used to. Continue getting better.

  3. I almost fell out of my chair laughing at the last line. I do have another story though, only mine has do with the folly of using tap water in a humidifier you don’t clean daily…okay, ever. Anyway, I’m breathing better, but not all there yet. It was pretty dicey Friday, and we couldn’t figure out what was going on until my wife realized the location of my office and timing of our bouts of breathlessness indicated the offending device. We now know there has been a fungus among us. But we have broken the hold the mold has had on us…

  4. Fortunately, I live in Canada, so I don’t have to pay for the doctor directly. Unfortunately, I live in Canada, so I have to pay more in tax than you do, and have almost all of it (probably as much as you pay in total) go to funding a single payer health care system that is the medical equivalent of the DMV.

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